3: realise I’m a girl. Understand physical difference between sexes, know that I’m just as worthy and capable as my brother. Sorted.
4-6: first loves, both sexes. Problems separating friendship and romantic love. Decide to marry my BF Karoline and live on a big farm.
7-8: decide to marry boys instead, five to be exact (nobody specific), have 20 kids and start popping them out around 16, “so that I am young enough to remember what it’s like to be a kid”. Good strategy for raising kids is to be one, apparently.
9-12: horse girl – good times! Not worried about boys, marriage or number of kids. In fact, great dislike toward boys, starting to understand about friendship though. Realise I’m not a girly-girl (no interest in clothes/hair, not nurturing or “nice”)
13-14: try being a tomboy, aqcuire male nickname and baggy clothes, but suck at sports and have few male friends. Read Harry Potter in secret, discover and try to hide that I’m actually an awkward nerd-type girl
15-16: abort previous “marriage with children”-plan (not that I could find five guys that would want to marry me anyway). Accept that I am a girl, and try instead being The Cool Girl. Fail (not charming, pretty or disinterested)
17-18: embrace awkward and nerdy with likeminded friends – fun times! Now worry alot about boys.
19-20: revert to Cool Girl to try and attract boys more successfully. Prettier now, drink beer like Robert Baratheon, sexually active. Terrible at shots though, not funny, too moody, suck at video games. Still manage to attract a boy
21-22: promptly revert to awkward and nerdy, go to university where this is appreciated, no longer worried about boys cause I have one – fun times!
23-25: marry boy that completes me (is charming, funny and can cook). Also my BF, do everything together but our own thaang too. Still confident that I live in a society of gender equality – fun times!
26-27: pregnant. maternity leave. Realise I am a woman. Embracing household chores, motherhood and nurturing suddenly expected – not so fun times. Only like tidying and organising (nerdy), not cleaning (a sport) or cooking (an art form).
28-29: complete higher education, start work. Empowerment levels temporarily restored. Suddenly worry about pension, pay levels, sick days, future pregnancies, future career, future of my daughter. Realise I’m a feminist.
Disclaimer. Do I need to point out that Matilda is the highlight of my life and that motherhood is of course empowering in many ways? Yes, I think unfortunately I do.